


One-Track Mind

by jackie_01



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Force Bond (Star Wars), Kylo 'No Game' Ren, Kylo Ren Pain Train, Rey 'You Won't Catch Me' of Jakku, Romance, Stalking, The Train That Keeps On Chugging, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-02
Updated: 2017-04-03
Packaged: 2018-09-21 13:47:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,306
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9551648
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jackie_01/pseuds/jackie_01
Summary: "Unrequited love is the infinite curse of a lonely heart"- Christina Westover---They will be together whether she likes it or not. They will be together, no matter how many lives or planets are struck down in the process.After all, what's a few hundred thousand to his precious Rey?Soon, she will see. Soon, she will understand.





	1. Search

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Perry_Downing](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Perry_Downing/gifts).



Kylo Ren stands at the view screen of his office aboard the _Finalizer_ , his shoulders tense and hands clenched tightly into fists at his side. His masked glare is fixated on the planet below. He watches its many rings rotate leisurely, but his temper is anything but.

 

Another dead end.

 

Another hearsay that had built up his hopes of finally finding her, only to turn up _nothing_.

 

He was so sure. So sure this time would be different; that this would be the day he would be reunited with his love. But after months and months of searching and coming up with nothing, one would think he would've learned early on not to build his hopes up so high. It only ended up hurting all the more when they inevitably came crashing down and his lonely heart suffocated under the weight of it all.

 

He works his jaw furiously and regards the planet down below.

 

From space, Clio is truly a sight to behold. A homeworld known for its rich history of music and breathtaking sunsets and lush green fields and endless flowerbeds. His beloved would've loved this planet, he knows she would've been dazzled by the beauty of it.

 

It's so easy to imagine what she would've looked like among Clio's endless fields of greenery. It's so easy to imagine how those lovely hazel eyes would widen in astonishment and childlike wonder as she took in everything. How her silken tresses would be free of those cursed buns and shimmer in the sunlight. She would look so exquisite among the flowers in the cream colored dress he had made for her, its voluminous skirts fluttering about those long, shapely legs.

 

She'd positively _glow_ in the light of the setting sun and then she'd turn to him and smile that bewitching smile he's only seen in his dreams.

 

How easy it is to imagine, to dream, to _hope_.

 

The thought of his lovely Rey is enough to calm his raging emotions, but not by much.

 

Not when she's slipped through his fingers again.

 

She has been a lot more careful since their last encounter on Ria. It had been weeks before he'd heard any reports regarding his beloved and it nearly gutted him, especially since she cut off her end of the Bond. He would slam himself repeatedly against her walls, demanding she open up to him, to not close him out, that she couldn't close him out. However, she remained resilient, refusing to give in.

 

His scavenger was ever the elusive, defiant little minx. But she cannot hide for long, especially since she has nowhere to go back to. He's made sure of that. Her little list of hideouts are slowly running out, and it is only a matter of time before he finds her.

 

It's just a shame Clio had to go. He knows she loved it.

  
Kylo knows if he were to return to the planet's surface, it would be far from the beautiful structures and vast greenery it was once known for. Clio is just another planet that had turned up empty hopes of finding her and, like the countless others, suffered for it. The planet's pristine ivory capital had been painted crimson, buildings burned to the ground and screams of terror filled the skies, clouded with smoke. Those foolish enough to try and fight back were swiftly dealt with, courtesy of the legion of death troopers at his disposal.

 

If there was one thing Kylo Ren would not tolerate was failure, especially when regarding _her_. The officer that referred the informant had been dealt with, of course. Executed on the spot whilst pleading for his life. Though satisfying to observe, it did nothing to truly quench his fury. The ill-fated informant himself and his associates had been also dealt with, and that was much more satisfying because Kylo handled that one _personally_. After all, they were the reason why he'd gotten his hopes up in the first place. They assured him that their contacts on Clio weren't wrong. They were sure they'd spotted the Jedi in the marketplace, trying (and failing) to fit in with the well-dressed civilians in her worn hooded cloak and worn clothes.

 

How unfortunate for them when it was discovered their intel was a _week late_ and by the time he arrived she was long gone.

 

It was immensely pleasing bringing down his saber as they begged and wept for their pitiful lives, that it was an honest mistake, promising that they would deliver next time.

 

He'd smirked behind his mask. As if they were worthy of any second chances.

 

He hacked and hacked and hacked away, ignoring the bloodied gurgles and screams but taking pleasure in whichever limb came in contact with the overzealous swinging of his lightsaber. By the time a majority of his fury dissipated, the council room had been turned into a slaughterhouse; body parts littered the floor, blood and bits of flesh and innards coating the walls and floors and himself.

 

He hadn't bothered with cleaning himself up. He'd just barked at Hux through his comlink to send down a sanitation crew and stormed off to his office, fuming and leaving behind a trail of bloody boot-prints in his wake.

 

Kylo clenches his fists so tightly, he can feel his nails bite into his thick leather gloves. He's tried everything and nothing works. He begged, _pleaded_ that she stop fighting him, put an end to these endless games of cat-and-mouse and come to him. At the very least, allow him to find her and still she refuses to yield. Part of him relishes in her defiance; he knows she enjoys his pursuit of her, his relentlessness. He knows it shows his devotion and speaks volumes to his Rey, tells her that he would do anything, _will_ do anything to have her. And yet a part of him wishes she'd end this aching torment and let him kriffing _find her_ so they can be together again.

 

Ever since Snoke's unfortunate demise at his hands and his ascent to the position of Supreme Leader, there was nothing that Kylo Ren couldn't have. He had power. He had influence. He was the single-handed the most powerful man in the entire galaxy and all would bow before his might.

  
  
Could Rey not see that he had the means to care for her, provide for her? She would never go without, he would make sure of it. Her lonely childhood and harsh upbringing on that blasted, insignificant sand planet would be but a memory. He would make sure she had everything and anything she desired. The special rooms he crafted just for her ensure that she does.

 

He blames the Resistance for her constant refusal of him. Just thinking about his beloved in the hands of those conniving, lying rebels makes him oh so happy they're no longer a problem. They'd poisoned his beloved's mind and twisted his intentions, no doubt hissing lies in her ears and making him out as the villain.

 

But she knows what she means to him. She has to. She _must_.

 

She just needs to be guided in the right direction. In time, she will see, and if she doesn't, he will _make_ her see.

 

They will be together whether she likes it or not. They will be together, no matter how many lives or planets are struck down in the process.

 

After all, what's a few hundred thousand to his precious Rey?

 

Soon, she will see. Soon, she will understand.

 


	2. Denial

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo remembers significant moments in the past that ultimately all come back to Rey. Rey makes an appearance.

Kylo sweeps down the decks of the _Finalizer_ , grateful that his meeting with his generals is finally over. The violent assault on Clio still remains fresh on his mind and he finds himself growing more and more enraged thinking about it. Though it had brought him immense joy at first, the aftermath has ultimately left him as hollow and bitter as he had been before he stepped foot on the damned planet. It only serves as a bitter reminder of his failure in procuring her.

 

His side remains cold and empty and it grows more and more noticeable with each passing day.

 

He tries to calm himself with the knowledge that, though his beloved is not there to witness it yet, at least Grandfather's vision and his destiny are coming to fruition.

 

It has been eighteen months since the destruction of _Starkiller_ Base, sixteen since he finally did away with Snoke and rose to power as the new Supreme Leader. Under his new leadership, the First Order's grip continues to spread throughout the galaxy, with more and more planets falling under its control at a much faster pace than it had under his master. During Snoke's reign, _Starkiller_ Base served as their main base of operations, but it wasn't their only one. There were numerous hidden First Order bases throughout the galaxy that only a chosen few of high-ranking generals were aware of, out of fear that the knowledge of their existence would fall into the hands of the Resistance. The loss of the First Order's most powerful superweapon was a pity, but it wasn't its only means to conquer and realize Grandfather's dream.

 

Most of the Inner and Mid Rim regions and Core Worlds were the first to be conquered, as there were many prestigious planets within those systems that carried more influence and power than others. However, not all of the planets needed to be brought to their knees through force. Some were more than happy to relinquish their control and pledge their loyalty, others simply surrendered out of sheer terror at the prospect of going to war when they had no chance of winning. But not everyone were so easily swayed. To Kylo's sadistic delight, some actually fought back. There were several small uprisings poorly lead by the population, but those were swiftly dealt with. He found he preferred the latter, as it made the reward of conquering the planet all the more sweeter when the opposing side ultimately lost. The thrill of battle always heated his blood and allowed him a release for all his pent up rage. His mind was always left with a sense of calm as he stood over the bodies of his enemies.

 

But ever since meeting her, he's found his lust for battle has become little more than a fleeting solution. The mere thought of his beloved replaced that lust with one of a different kind.

 

Kylo soon finds his mind beginning to stray, as it always does when he thinks of her. In remembering the earlier months of his conquests as Supreme Leader, he also remembers the day his entire world veered off its axis, that one significant moment in his life that is the sole reason for where he is today and what he has become.

 

The day he met her.

 

Rey.

 

The beautiful scavenger from Jakku who had stolen his blackened heart.

 

He thanks the Force for her every day.

 

It has been nearly eighteen months since their inevitable meeting in the forest of Takodana. Eighteen months since the Force brought them together and bound them with the most sacred of Bonds. Eighteen kriffing months since the destruction of _Starkiller Base_ and his subsequent loss of her.

 

He comes to a halt in an empty corridor and raises a gloved hand to his helmet, subconsciously tracing the path of the scar that is etched onto his face. The one she left behind on _Starkiller_.

 

The First Order's advanced medical technology could've easily healed the scarred tissue, restoring his face to its smooth, unblemished state. But he'd found himself appalled by the idea of having it gone; its traces wiped away clean as if it were never there.

 

As if _she_ were never there.

 

That simply wouldn't do.

 

He'd ordered the head doctor and his staff to simply stitch up the wound using primitive methods and apply only a bit of bacta gel to ensure that it scarred properly. A few seconds of cut-off oxygen and a death threat here and there ensured that he'd got the results he'd wanted. It'd taken several weeks for him to fully recover, but by the end of it, he had a new scar added to his collection. It was a cruel, jagged-looking thing; starting from the middle of his forehead, it streaked down the right side of his face and down his jaw and part of the way down his right shoulder. In the days since it healed, he spent quite a bit of his free time in his quarters in front of his mirror, staring at his scar and tracing its path with his eyes. Admiring her work as if it was some precious memento.

 

Because it was.

 

She forever marked him as hers in the snowy woods of _Starkiller Base_ , whether she'd known it or not.

 

And she was _his_.

 

 

~*~

 

 

His frustration has reached another boiling point.

 

He's in his training room, sweating and breathing heavily from exhilaration and anger as he stands in the middle of the floor surrounded by chaos. The sparring droids lie in piles of crushed, twisted pieces of metal around the room, either brought down by his saber or through the Force. He'd hacked through any training equipment within reach, his lightsaber burning orange streaks into the walls and padded flooring with each strike from his crackling plasma blade.

 

She still refuses to acknowledge him. Her side of the Bond is cold and it only serves to fuel his rage.

 

It has been several weeks since Rey last allowed him to speak with her. However, it immediately erupted into an argument and he found himself being cut off abruptly and unable to feel her. He feels like he's going mad.

 

He wishes she hadn't learned to block him the way she does. Before, he'd been able to feel her constantly. Now, very rarely does she open up her side of the Bond and allow him the privilege of basking in her Light.

 

He remembers the first time he realized a Force Bond had been set between them. After _Starkiller_ , he had been able to feel her at random and was unsure why, but it was greatly welcomed. He was able to catch glimpses of what she was doing and feeling. He'd sometimes see her in his mind's eye clearly, as though she were right in front of him. Whether it be tinkering with a droid or sitting on a grassy hill under the sun, she was a constant presence. Her presence warmed him from the top of his head to the tips of his fingers and toes.

 

He had been unsure of what was happening, but then he remembered something his unc- _Luke Skywalker_ had mentioned when he was training to be a Jedi as a boy.

 

He had called it a Force Bond, a strong connection that could be forged between two Force-sensitive beings. It'd happened during his interrogation of her, he's sure of it, when he pushed himself into her mind and she fought back.

 

He'd found very little on the subject, as all the old holobooks in the Jedi Archives had been destroyed during the age of the Galactic Empire. Even now, with the few Jedi holocrons he'd managed to hunt down, there wasn't a lot that could be said about them. But with the information he did manage to find, it explained that bonds could be created one of two ways; between a master and their padawan... or two Force-sensitives that were suited for each other.

 

 _Soulmates_.

 

He'd been unable to put a name to what it was he felt for the scavenger the day she beat him, struck him down and stood over him triumphant, feral and beautiful, her lithe form awash in the soft blue glow of his grandfather's lightsaber.

 

Not like he can now.

 

He'd denied it at first, passing it off as an obsessive need to gain back the honor he'd lost. But he soon realized he couldn't get her out of his mind. Couldn't stop imagining, dreaming about what she'd look like with her hair down or how sweet she'd taste if he pressed his lips to hers.

 

His feelings had grown with each passing day and when Snoke had threatened to have her killed, claiming she was an unnecessary distraction, a problem that needed to be handled swiftly, he'd lost it.

 

He struck down his former master without a second thought for even daring to think of harming his love.

 

His love.

 

He _loved_ her. He realized that now.

 

And the realization that their Force Bond had been created because they were meant for each other only fueled that love. She needed him, no matter how much she tried to deny it. And he needed her.

 

Oh, how he needed her. He's growing mad without her by his side, he can't imagine how it must be for her.

 

They needed each other and he would find her. Find her and drag her back kicking and screaming if he has to. They will soon be together and all will be well. He's sure of it.

 

Until then, his side remains cold and empty and it grows more and more noticeable with each passing day.

 

 

~*~

 

  

He's just come back from the infirmary, having had his hands wrapped up after splitting his knuckles open from beating his fists against the walls of his now destroyed training room. It matters not to him; he's spilled blood before, a little more didn't hurt.

 

Now, he's in his quarters, sitting on the edge of his bed as he runs his bandaged hands over a piece of torn cloth. It was his only prize and reminder of his encounter with Rey on Ria months ago.

 

The cloth had been part of her tunic, torn off by a stormtrooper that had managed to grab hold of her through a fence. She'd been so terrified and desperate to get away that she'd allowed her tunic to tear in her haste to flee. He'd murdered the stormtrooper that dared to put his filthy, unworthy hands on his beloved. She'd been long gone by the time he’d arrived, but that wasn't the _only_ reason for the rage he felt that day. The stormtrooper had dishonored his beloved by allowing her to flee with a torn shirt.

 

He had felt fleeting emotions from her before she closed herself off from him. Embarrassment, relief, exhilaration, fear. The fool had humiliated his love and he paid rightfully with his life.

 

The only task the stormtrooper had managed to accomplish was gaining Kylo the token he has now.

 

It still smells of her. He refuses to touch it as often as he wishes he could, knowing if he does it will eventually lose her scent. It smells of sweat and spices and the sun, an attar of Rey.

 

Oh, Rey.

 

He can't take it any more.

 

He needs to feel her, if only for a moment.

 

He'd always thrown himself against her walls, angry and seething like an enraged Nexu. He'd beat again and again at the Bond, demanding that she let him in, that she couldn't and wouldn't deny him, deny them. Still she wouldn't relent.

 

But this time, he wants to be gentle. He misses her so.

 

He reaches tentatively across the Bond.

 

“Rey...”

 

The Bond remains cold and his heart drops, his anger slowly rising.

 

“Rey, please...”

 

She always makes him weak. He feels no shame when he begs to her, for she is the only woman to ever make him feel this way.

 

“Please, please talk to me. Don't deny me, Rey...”

 

His heart nearly stops when he feels her side of the Bond flare to life.

 

“I have nothing to say to _you_ , Kylo Ren.” she snarls.

 

He ignores her scorn, too overwhelmed by her beautiful, blinding Light and hearing her say his name.

 

“Rey! Oh, Rey, my love... it's been so long-”

 

“Don't call me that. I'm not your _anything_. You need to stop.”

 

Oh, how that hurts. But he doesn't blame her, he knows she doesn't really mean what she's saying. That's not what she really feels.

 

“You don't mean that.”

 

“I do, actually.”

 

He shakes his head woefully. “Oh, Rey. No, you don't. You're not thinking clearly. But I don't blame you! Never you. It's those Resistance parasites poisoning your mind, making you not see clearly-”

 

“Stop doing that. No one's poisoning my mind. I see just fine. It's _you_ that has the problem seeing clearly.”

 

“Rey, please. It's been so long since we last talked. I'm sorry about losing my temper last time we spoke. I won't this time, I promise.”

 

She scoffs. “Did it ever occur to you that maybe I _don't_ want to talk to you? Why would I?! Especially after Ria! And I heard about what you did on Clio!”

 

He winces. He knew she'd be upset about that.

 

“I received word that you were there. I thought I'd finally found you.”

 

“So, what? You think you found me and you and your thugs go around killing innocent people?”

 

“Not the children!” he says hastily. “Never children. And not everyone died! Only those that fought back. It was necessary.”

 

“My point is that you didn't have to kill _anyone_!”

 

He clenches his fist. He feels his anger rising and he's finding it difficult to keep it in check.

 

“They refused to cooperate. They fought back. Therefore, they had to be punished. Their insolence will not be tolerated by the First Order,” he bites out.

 

“You're unbelievable...”

 

He feels her shaking her head, feels what he thinks is contempt but brushes it aside and pushes forward.

 

“Rey, please-”

 

“Don't! Just... don't. You always do this. I may as well be talking to a wall!” He feels her frustration and he can relate. He's frustrated too.

 

“Rey,” He pleads. “Please end this game of cat-and-mouse. I can't take it any longer. I just.... I want- I _need_ you with me. And I know you need me, too. Don't tell me you don't feel the same way.”

 

“I don't,” she says a little too hastily.

 

He smiles then.

 

“Rey, you know you can't lie to me,” he continues to press forward, gently. He doesn't want to scare her off again. “Just... just tell me where you are. Please, my love.”

 

She sighs and he can almost feel her warm breath on his face.

 

“Oh, Kylo... You really don't get it do you?”

 

She goes quiet, but doesn't close off the Bond. He feels a sense of pity and he doesn't like it. He doesn't want her pity. He wants _her_.

 

Suddenly, he feels the briefest flicker of affection and that snaps what little control he has over his anger. He's soon filled with a violent jealousy and he lets it overtake him. Her affection is directed onto someone else and _not him_. Whoever it is, he swears they will die. Slowly and painfully. He'll take great pleasure in hearing them scream for mercy.

 

“Who’s with you?!” he rages.

 

He feels Rey jump at his tone.

 

“What?”

 

He quickly stands and begins prowling back and forth like a caged animal, rolling his shoulders and clenching and unclenching his fists.

 

“Someone else is with you! Who is it?!” he accuses.

 

“It's none of your business!” she hisses back.

 

He growls at that.

 

 _Everything_ she does is his business.

 

He throws himself against her mind's eye before she has the chance to react and erect her walls to protect herself. He catches a flash of a male's face and he nearly explodes. The Force twists and wraps itself around him and soon all the furniture in his quarters begin to shake violently and levitate off the floor. It's a split second later that he finds himself viciously thrown out of her mind and back into his own. He staggers from the sheer force of her power.

 

“What the kriff is wrong with you?!” she cries. “What did you just do?!”

 

“What's wrong with me?! Why is there a _man_ with you?!” He barked.

 

“It's not- He's not-”

 

He senses her frustration, her fumbling. But what shocks him the most and nearly catches the breath in his lungs is the pain that radiates off Rey. Did he hurt his beloved? His levitating furniture fall to the ground with ground-shaking crash, the Force dissipating around him and his anger dissolving into concern for his Rey.

 

“Rey? Rey! Are you alright? Are you hurt?” he demands.

 

“I'm fine,” she grits out.

 

“No, you're not. You're hurt. Did I do that to you? I'm so sorry, my love-”

 

“Don't! Just stop it! You're crazy, Kylo Ren! I don't know why I try. I don't know why I gave in,” she rambles.

 

He feels her walls beginning to rise and horror takes hold of him.

 

“No, Rey! Please, my love, I'm sorry! I-” He feels the moment she's gone and it's like a slap to the face.

 

His breaths come out in great heaving pants, harsh and short and ragged. He stands there for a long time, his eyes fixed on the wall but staring far beyond it.

 

He tried this time. He really did. He knows she dislikes it when he loses his temper but she just makes him crazy. She drives him mad with need and awakens so many passionate emotions within him.

 

Can't she see what she does to him? Does she not realize the effect she has?

 

Why does everything he do when it comes to Rey crumble before he has a chance to build it up?

 

He takes his saber in hand, ignites it and begins hacking away at anything within reach.

 

They _will_ be together.

 

Until then, his side remains cold and empty and it grows more and more noticeable with each passing day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FINALLY GOT THIS DONE. Sorry for the long wait. Writing blocks suck.
> 
> Also thank you Perry_Downing for reading this over and telling me what you thought! You're a gem, my dear.

**Author's Note:**

> Whoop, Jackie here with a new fic (ignores COSMIC IRONY giving me the side-eye for not updating it in MONTHS hehehehe). Hopefully I'm faster with updating this fic than my other story. That WILL be updated... soon.... ish.
> 
> This is what happens when you get bit by a plot bunny at 1 am and just start writing. Was inspired by this comment http://perrydowning.tumblr.com/post/155214142832/in-a-thwarted-alternate-universe-how-would-kylo
> 
> Perry, I blame you for making me want to make Galactic Idiot suffer. BUT who doesn't love to see our precious idiot suffer, yeah? ;) 
> 
> This story will roughly be maybe 7 chapters? Maybe 10, if I extend a few things here and there. I'll see how I feel. But I'm feeling maybe 10-12-ish chapters. The chapters may very in length.
> 
> Song that also helped inspire this was "Nymphetamine" by Cradle of Filth


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